I woke up this morning with the sprinklings of a new attitude. This change follows a rough night of my subconscious having a “come to Jesus” conversation with my conscience over night.
A little back story…
In June of last year, 2016, I came home from a vacation and promptly became ill. I was weak, tired, and nauseated. I had a headache. I lost sensation in my feet and legs for a while. One night, I awoke to put the dog out, but instead passed out. I flat out fainted in my bedroom floor.
The ambulance came, as I had injured my leg badly, and the EMT told me I was having an A Fib. A few hours later, I was released from the hospital and sent home in a cast with the diagnosis of syncope and possible fracture.
I followed up with my pcp, thinking I had the flu or something that was making me feel so bad. She told me to see a cardiologist and then a neurologist if that didnt work. I was shocked. A heart condition? Me?
Now, I was confused to say the least. I had just lost over 175 lbs and THEN developed a heart problem? Seriously?
So, I saw the cardiologist. The first time we met, she all but laughed me out of her office. My instructions were to stop drinking all of those energy drinks. I DONT DRINK THEM AT ALL. Stop drinking so much coffee. I DRINK ONE CUP A DAY. The point is, it was her opinion that I was causing my symptoms, that I was too young and healthy to need her. Thankfully, after her nurse could not detect a bp on me, she did put me on a holter monitor to wear for two weeks.
During this time, the nausea got worse. The dizziness and light headed feeling got worse. Suddenly I couldnt eat.I lost 20 lbs in a month. I was bed bound!
After a night of severe vomiting, the doctor called me herself. She was in shock. I was told that I had flatlined, for around 5 seconds each, 5-6 times over night. It was decided that it was a vagel response to the bearing down while vomiting.
I was told to come in immediately for a pacemaker!
After the pacemaker was inserted, I did not get better. Confusion ensued. I was being tested on various drugs. If we treated my low bp, we aggravated the tachycardia. If we treated the tachycardia, we lowered my bp too much. I am on round the clock anti nausea meds. The doc mentioned Autonomic Dysfunction in passing. I looked it up and it sounded familiar. I was happy to hear she was making progress. But nothing was done.
After several visits and pacemaker checks, I was told that I was a complicated case and to go live my life. I was given a referral to an electrophysiologist who was useless.
Anyway, I got discouraged. This problem has irreversibly changed my life and I am angry and scared. I have complained, cried, screamed, etc… for long enough. I am literally sick of hearing myself complain!
(Side Note: I hereby sincerely apologize to all of my friends, family, medical staff for spewing my misery upon all of you. I love you all for your patience.)
And so, today, I am making a new start. Instead of giving up (which was my plan yesterday), I plan to take back control of my health and my life.
I will be following up on this post with a separate Plan post.
Wish me luck!
No, wait. I’m in control… let me rephrase…
Watch me kick ass!